By Geoffrey Kithuku
Across many African households, gendered expectations still shape the everyday experiences of boys and girls. When you visit such homes, it is common to find girls busy with household chores—cooking, cleaning, and running multiple errands—while boys sit comfortably on the couch or stay on their phones, exempt from responsibility. These patterns may appear ordinary, yet they reveal the deeply ingrained norms that continue to limit girls’ potential from a young age.
The consequences become even more profound when families cannot afford to educate all their children. Too often, it is the girl who is asked to stay home, find domestic work to support the household, or—tragically—be married off early so that her brother can continue with his education. Even when a girl manages to overcome these odds, receives an education, and achieves financial success, her accomplishments are frequently minimised. Communities may dismiss her achievements as a result of “sexually attracted” opportunities or claim she used the gender card. Such attitudes expose how far we still have to go in recognising women’s merit without suspicion or prejudice.
In relationships, the imbalance persists. In many communities, men still have a disproportionate say—even over women’s bodies and health decisions. This includes controlling if, when, or how a woman accesses sexual and reproductive health services. These dynamics are not only unjust but dangerous, reinforcing systems that undermine women’s autonomy and safety.
Recently, a disturbing case circulated widely on TikTok involving a foreign man allegedly wooing women on the streets and engaging in sexual encounters with them, with claims that he was HIV positive. Instead of addressing the structural and societal vulnerabilities that expose women to such risks, many online reactions focused on blaming and shaming the women involved. This victim‑blaming culture distracts from the real issues: potential spikes in HIV infections, exposure to sexually transmitted infections, and the urgent need for justice and mental health support for those affected. It also reflects our collective failure to interrogate the social norms that leave women disproportionately vulnerable to exploitation and harm.
The recently released report by the Presidential Technical Working Group (TWG) on GBV and Femicide paints an even more alarming picture. Technology‑facilitated GBV—such as cyberbullying, sextortion, and the non‑consensual sharing of intimate images—is on the rise. Between 2020 and 2024, over 500 women were murdered, with femicide cases rising by 35% in 2024 alone. Even more concerning, 60% of these murders occurred in domestic settings—the very spaces that should provide safety and security. The report also notes a devastatingly low 10% conviction rate for Sexual and Gender‑Based Violence (SGBV). Survivors are often re‑victimised at police stations, while communities continue to resolve serious GBV cases through clan negotiations or compensation. These practices silence victims and embolden perpetrators, perpetuating a cycle of violence.
Yet, despite this evidence, patriarchal narratives persist. Last year, a friend insisted to me that “gender equality now favours the girl child” and that “the boy child will soon perish.” His argument echoed a common misconception driven by male privilege and societal conditioning. Gender equality is not a zero‑sum game. Empowering women does not threaten men. Instead, it creates a more just, balanced, and prosperous society for everyone. If, as some claim, women have already “taken over,” why are femicide numbers rising? Why do so many women still struggle to access reproductive health services? Why do women still lack autonomy over decisions concerning their own bodies? And why does society remain uncomfortable when a woman excels?
While I do not fully agree with every recommendation in the TWG report, it is clear that full implementation would mark significant progress for the country. Eliminating the barriers that hinder women’s well‑being must be our collective priority—not just as government or civil society, but as families, communities, and individuals.
Kenya cannot continue to lose women—through femicide, systemic neglect, discriminatory norms, and silence. Our responsibility is clear: dismantle the structures that harm women, challenge the attitudes that shame and silence them, and build a society where every woman can thrive without fear or limitation.
The work is urgent. And it belongs to all of us.
By Geoffrey Kithuku, Executive Director, The Amplifiers Youth Organisation (TAYO)
